He was about 8 years old. He came into the train compartment holding the hand of his mother. One could immdiately tell he was mothers boy. Like hers his teeth were sticking out as if they were the final touch of a halloween rabbit outfit. Their ears too made a perfect 90 degree angle standing out from their heads. His mother had dressed him neatly as if to complete her own picture in the boy. He was wearing a newly ironed white shirt that didnt have a crisp on it and sailor blue shorts. He was his mothers little sailor. He sat straight up in his seat, his legs down out in front of him and his hands on each side of him as if to hold his balance and posture. He seemed too well mannered for a kid his age. His knees were free from cuts, scars and bruises like his hands and elbows were unmarked by the carelessness of childhood. Obviously he was not allowed to run about and play with the other kids in the street, had never found the joy in kicking a ball pass his worst enemy and into goal or jumped from the highest point at the playground just to show off. His pale face told a one line story of about 8 years in the shade of his mother skirt. While his mother looked through her purse to find their tickets, the boy looked up to take a quick glance at the other passengers then lowered his face again. Shyly.
Years later on the metro. The metro car was almost empty. The atmosphere told that darkness had settled up on the street. He was alone and had been alone ever since his mother had passed away him some years ago. He was now working in an office but did'nt see any of his colleagues socially. Usually he kept to himself and the numbers he was lining up neatly every day in one long equation that by office closing time should end up in a zero. He had tried to reach to reach out to people. Had felt that need and longing for human contact. Back in school there had been a girl who had been interested in him. One day, on her initiative, they had gone to caf� together. It was a terrible experience. He had not known what to say, what to do or where to rest his eyes and after a short time he had not even felt like being there at all. Most of the time he had either looked down in his coffee or, with a maximum of effort, tried to answer the girls questions that had popped up during the on going small talk. Afterwards outside the caf� as they had tried to say an ackward goodby had suddenly leaned over to kiss him. Just to say goodbye. But something inside of him, inside his stomach, he could not tell what, had made him push her away. Hard. She had fallen into the wall as there had been nothig to grap on to and ended up on the ground. He stood there for about a second, not knowing what to don paralyzed. then fear went into his feet and ran away. Some years later, during his first year at the office, he had gone out by himself. Outside a movie theater he had met this guy that most people probably would have prefered to turn away from if they had been been approached. But that day at the office had been bad. Things had slowed down and there had'nt been much to do. Instead he hah had time to think and that had made him feel very lonely. So when this guy had approached in a friendly kind of way he wasnt used to he had not been able to say no. They had talked for a little while. The guy had tried to make him laugh and little by little it worked and he had started to feel in a way he could not recognize but really liked. They had gone to see a movie together but as he had sat in the movie theater darkness the movie moved in front of him on the big screen without he had noticed. Evrything around had been standing still as his thoughts had been only on his new found friend and strange new fortune. Suddenly he had felt a hand on his thigh. A strange feeling had risen inside of him; he knew it was'nt right but in the same time the touch had released something inside of him that for while lingered like butterflies in his stomach. He had felt a million things at the same time. The admonitions of his mother, the years of solitude and mistrust in people, loneliness, the strange new feeling of company and in the middle of it all an incipient happiness. After the movie they had walked together and he had tried talking to his new friend. His words had come out in eager stutters as he had tried to force himself in the unfamiliar discipline. The guy had just smiled at him as they walked along. As he had been caught up in the whirlpool of feelings and hard efforts on making a good impression he had not noticed where they were going but just followed his new friend. Suddenly he had felt a hard push and then he had seen himself falling head first into a narrow alley. He had never gotten back on his feet. All he remembers is seing the silhouets of several men, feeling boots breaking his ribs, overwhelming intense pain, emotional hurt and confusion. He had found himself in a hospital. He had been robbed of his money and the keys to his apartment, broken several ribs and gotten a severe trauma to the head. He had called his work and explained he had to go up north to take care of an aunt who had suddenly fallen sick. No one ever knew of the incidence. He never filed report with the police and when he finally returned to work the bruises that were left could be written off to an everyday accident.
He was only two stops away from home now. Sometimes when he took the metro and group of young people or other people who could seem intimidating he would get off the train quietly and unnoticed. At the station he would wait for the next train hoping to find it empty and then continue home. He was almost home now; maybe tonight he would make it home in one ride.
